How to D.R.E.S.S



Happy Pentecost Sunday!  In today's blog post, I decided to dedicate this opportunity to explain (and answer the question that I get asked the most) about why I like to D.R.E.S.S.  For the last year or two, I've traveled and had the opportunity to speak with young girls and women, and during each engagement, I make it a point to explain, 'How to D.R.E.S.S'.

For whatever reason, people don't enjoy the art of dressing up any more, and in most settings, I usually stick out, because unlike many others, I love to dress, matter of fact, I live to dress.  It's an art form, a form of self expression and self love, but it's so much more than that for me.  Most people that know me or know of my background would agree that it's a way of life that I was cultivated into (thanks to my dad), and that's true given that I came out the womb in Rothschild and custom crinoline dresses, lol, but at some of my lowest points, the acronym for D.R.E.S.S saved my life.




Although I've always loved clothes, shoes, etc, it wasn't until after my divorce that dressing took on an entirely new meaning for me.  I was emotionally broken beyond repair (so I thought), sad, depressed, self-hating, and so many more things that began to manifest after many years of a bad marriage.  I silently lamented for quite some time and one day I thought back to a memory of my grandmother on my father's side (Bernice), and her perseverance through the stroke that took her speech and left her having to use a walker and eventually a wheelchair.  The most vivid memory I have of her was on Sunday mornings getting ready for church.  Even with her limitations, every Sunday I could count on her "clacking" down the hallway with her walker, her undergarments draped across the front handles as she made her way to the bathroom to get ready.  I remember her wigs (on mannequin heads) lined up on the dresser, her costume jewelry, furs, and perfumes (I can even remember her scent).  That memory was my wake-up call to get back to me, not just the old me, but a better me, a surviving and thriving me!

Having said all of that, I decided that going forward, no matter what, I would D.R.E.S.S.

D - define who you are
R - release whatever hinders you
E - exercise your gift
S - strength in stewardship
S - strut


I made the decision that no matter what the circumstances, no matter what I lost, nothing and no one could define who I am.  After having done that, I had to release EVERYTHING, any and everyone that had a hold on me, anything that prevented me from getting to that better version of me (this is probably the most difficult part).  Once you've released, you can now exercise your God given gifts and in that you'll find strength in stewardship.  Lastly, and this is the part that often times we forget because we're so focused on our journey that we sometimes forget just how awesome we are; when all is said and done . . . . . STRUT!  You deserve it, you worked for it, and someone will see and appreciate your greatness.

So there you have it, the reason why I DRESS - I do hope that many of you will join me and follow suit!






photos: Designs by JK

Note:  Ladies, I'll post a separate blog post detailing this look!

17 comments

  1. Love this...keep dressing girl! I must also add that "THAT RED DRESS IS EVERYTHING!"

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    1. Thanks Dee Marie, I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog.

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  2. I'm happy you called it the art of dressing, and I agree. A lot of people dress down even at work and at church. I'm happy you found yourself through dressing up.

    Love the red dress. It has amazing detail.

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    1. Hey Kim! Thanks for reading, and yes it is definitely an art form.

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  3. Hello fellow Queen City Bee! I love your acronym and the notion that nothing and no-one can define who you are because it is without question that what is for you will always be for YOU. Beautiful dress and beautiful spirit.

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  4. First of all, that red dress is absolutely beautiful! You better work it! Secondly, that is such an awesome acronym for "dress"!

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  5. You look very pretty. I love dressing up sometimes but I also love keeping it cute and casual with rocking a fresh pair of kicks from my collection of sneakers. I'm something like a sneaker snob. I have a shoe for every outfit imaginable. Sneaks are my stiletto of choice.

    Jay | RelaxedThairapy.com

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    1. Thanks Jay, and you're exactly right, some days is great to just kick back and be comfy. Whatever mode of dress you prefer, do it well!

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  6. First off, you look amazing! I love the acronym as well! Keep styling on 'em Sis!

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  7. You look amazing and I recognized the Manolos right away lol.

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    1. Valerie, I am a pump fanatic. I just can't get enough, lol.

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  8. The D R E S S is very motivational and I pray your words touch many youngsters male and female.

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    1. Thank you Senetra. I truly hope and pray for the same!

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